Here’s my latest teaser from the book I’m currently writing. This *chapter was initially meant to be much shorter than it has turned out to be. I’m really looking forward to going back to edit this chapter. I think it’s one of my favourites so far.
*This excerpt is a first draft, unedited version. May include grammar and spelling mistakes.
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As the last screw was laid down, the back of the T.V. fell off with no force whatsoever. “And what do we have here?” exclaimed Officer Randall, pulling out a wrapped up plastic bag from inside the T.V. “No wonder he doesn’t watch the bloody T.V., half of the insides are missing to make room for this”. Randall laid the plastic bag down onto the mattress like it was an injured bird.
“Mr OSullivan…would you like to do the honours?”
“What do you mean”?
“Open the bag, knobhead. I’ll let you take the credit for this find”.
“This was your idea, Lurch. You open it.”
“Absolutely not. If you hadn’t made the twat cry his eyes out, I wouldn’t of suspected a thing. Go on, open the fucking bag”. I shrugged my shoulders. Fuck it I thought. I’ll take this one then. It would be satisfying to get a find under my belt. The bag was sealed with plenty of sellotape. It was wrapped in such a way that it reminded me of my Christmas present wrapping technique. I use so much sellotape that it’s hard for the recipient to actually get into it.
“Why was it wrapped like this?”, I asked, searching for an opening.
“It’s probably been up an arse or two before making it’s way into the back of the TV”.
“This is too big to fit up someone’s arse”.
“Oh, you’d be surprised what I’ve seen pop out of an anal passage during my 15 years here. Mobile phones weren’t always as small as they are these days”, explained Randall, raising his two grey bushy eyebrows.
“Grim”, I replied.
“Come on hurry up. Use your teeth.”
“Fuck off”. I began to search for the end of the seal.
“Christ, we’ll be hear all poxy night…use your keys”. Suggested the ever increasingly impatient Officer Randall. I pulled my keys from my pocket and hacked away that the sellotape.
I’m hoping to have more teasers coming soon.